Balancing Life as a Minister: God, Family, and the Church

            If you are not careful, your life as a minister can quickly feel like a circus act! It’s too easy for us to juggle more than we should and in some cases, juggle things we should have never bothered with at all. Just like everyone else who wishes to succeed, ministers must correctly order their priorities. The negative consequences of disordered priorities will not only impact you but your household and ministry; in the same vein, rightly-ordered priorities will have numerous positive effects on everyone in your life.

            We know that God should be first followed by family and then the church, but we don’t always put that into practice. I sat down with Pastors Tony and Cynthia Brazelton of Victory Christian Ministries International to discuss the importance of following this exact order (God, family, the church) in our lives.

God First

            Don’t forget God, who called you to ministry in the first place! This is particularly critical to avoid treating the ministry as a mistress or something you consider only as an afterthought. It’s important that we seek God’s plan for us to operate in; He will make it as sweatless as possible, but we must trust Him in absolutely everything.

We must trust God in every situation: spiritually, emotionally, and naturally. “
            By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence” (2 Peter 1:3, NLT). Cynthia discussed this in detail and offered unflinching feedback on how to keep God first.

            “It’s a daily thing,” she stated. “I have to make sure that I spend that quality time in prayer and with the Lord.” It’s necessary purposefully carve out time to come before the Lord. Regardless of your individual circumstances, whether that’s loud neighbors, needy family members, or work issues, you must seek God on purpose. Learn how to wake up earlier or stay up later than you normally do just so you can pray. Doing this opens you up to the opportunity to hear from God and discover what you should do, where you should go, and how you should conduct yourself. When you take this time, it’s not difficult to stay on the path of righteousness or walk in peace. So put God first!

Give Precedence to Family
What does the Bible say about putting family first?

            Many ministers are in a phase of life in which they’re caregivers for their parents. When I was a caregiver for my dad, I had a lot of help so I could still afford to travel and continue my calling with the Creflo Dollar Ministerial Association. I was overwhelmed at times, but fortunately, my siblings were there for me when I needed to take a necessary break and recover. Cynthia wisely stated that without putting God first, it would have been very difficult to be “good” for anybody in her life. This is why God comes before family; He gives us the strength we need to be strong and to be strong enough to ask for help. But why does family come before church?

            Paul’s question answers ours: “For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?” (1 Timothy 3:5). As Tony stated, “You can’t get relationship wrong and get ministry right. People do that all the time. Everyone tries to get ministry right at the expense of relationship. Their relationships are wrong, but God clearly says that you can’t get relationship wrong and get ministry right.” He noted how, as a result of miscalculation, a lot of relationships are not flourishing or moving forward. This is not the will of God.

            When dealing with your relationships, avoid the temptation to assume the other person is the problem. For example, Tony advised married ministers not to say, “I just need me a spiritual woman” or “I need a more spiritual man.” Learn to prioritize the spouse you have. Prioritize your children and your parents. When you learn how to do life through these relationships, then you’re qualified to pastor Christ’s church.

            Tony continued to state that “the faith you used to prosper financially is the same faith you use to prosper in your marriage.” Don’t separate your faith or find yourself saying, “I can have faith for this area of my life, but when it comes to my spouse, I don’t know what to do.” The grace of God can be applied to every area and every person in your life. With the same energy that you want a church with a thousand, two thousand, three thousand, or even ten thousand members, you need to want your marriage to be successful for both you and your spouse. Your relationships should get the same faith.

Fulfill God’s Calling on Your Life

Ministry work is no joke, but do not hesitate to do what the Lord has called you to do because He will always send help when you need it. “And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me. And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son” (Genesis 22:12, 13). As Cynthia said, “God will carry you through whatever He’s asking you to do.”

            In addition, do not be afraid to rest. Tony advises taking a vacation or sabbatical as often as you need. By doing this, you’ll be ready to do what God has asked of you with a sound mind and plenty of energy!

Conclusion

            A lot of pastors with undeniable ministry gifts appear to be successful, but on the inside, they struggle to find a balance between God, family relationships, and their ministries. This, unfortunately, indicates that trouble may be on the horizon, if it is not there already. However, we don’t have to be anxious about whether we will ever get it right. God is waiting for us to lean on Him! When the facets of your life are prioritized in their proper order, you’ll find God’s peace and supernatural ability and wisdom to handle every person and every situation.

 

Interview edited for length and clarity.