Oneness in Marriage

With this article, we aim to promote the breakdown of old religious mindsets that are debilitating to marriages. Every man and woman in a marriage, covenant relationship, or partnership has to submit in their areas of weakness in order to align with their partner’s strengths. The institution of marriage is all about oneness.

 For a couple to operate in oneness, neither spouse can take a domineering attitude that says, “I’m in control, you’re not, so you do what I say.”

I (Creflo) grew up with that old, domineering mentality. When I converted my mindset to embrace partnership and equality in my marriage, I was the happiest I’ve ever been before in my life. I love marriage, but that domineering side could have led me to divorce. I was dominating, controlling, and fearful of losing control. Those ideologies do not work. I’m not even talking about a Scripture right now. I’m talking about real, everyday life. Deciding to engage in partnership with my wife relieved me of the fear and pressure of carrying it all by myself.

Oneness and partnership in your marriage are the way to go. The old religious ways that many have seen in which men in church dominated their wives is not the way. That type of mindset is why people don’t want to get married. Nobody wants to get married and be dominated. Statistics show that marriage levels are low right now because many have misleading mindsets about the institution. However, the source of woman is man, the source of every man is Christ, and the source of Christ is God.

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body” (Ephesians 5:23).

The Greek word for “head” that’s used here is defined as an enabler. Like Christ, it means one who enables the church to be all that it was meant to be, to bring it to the point of completion. Christ is self-sacrifice—He was a self-sacrificing provider who enabled the church to have everything necessary to reach its fullest potential. He enabled the church to nourish, cherish, support, and add value. Humanity turned “head” into dominating over one another.

When Christ is referred to as the head of the church, it means that He is the church’s source of life. He’s the originator, the completer. He is also the giver of gifts to every Christian without regard to economic status, race, age, or gender. According to the Holy Spirit, gifts are given by God and build people up. As members of one body, one faith, one baptism, and one church, we must no longer allow ourselves to be separate. We must see each other’s potential and giftings, and embrace one another. We must come against traditionalism and inappropriate error, and illuminate the Word in our marriages. We must change our hearts to actively pursue oneness and partnerships in our marriages. You can be a movement by yourself, but you can be a force together.